Aging in Place

Most people want to “age in place,” grow old in their own home with their friends, neighbors and families involved in their lives. Most folks want to continue shopping at the stores they like, attending their own church, using their own hair stylist, and participating in their regular groups and clubs.

At the same time people want all of these things, many fear and dread the time when keeping their lives the way they want to means getting help from other people. They dread it because they feel that depending on other people is a sacrifice of their independence. They dread it because they fear being a burden to those they love. They dread it because it reminds them of their mortality.

This dread and fear can result in failing to plan and prepare relationships, homes, and finances. This failure to prepare often results in the outcome people fear most…having to go to a nursing home or move from their home to a family member’s home.

This article will be the first installment in a three part series devoted to providing strategies for helping you prepare to “age in place.” First, we will address how to go about preparing relationships.

When people think about preparing their relationships, it is important to consider spouses or significant others, people who can be natural supports and children or other interested family members.

Begin with your spouse or significant other. First, have a frank discussion with him or her about their dreams for aging. It is important to compare and contrast their desires to yours and work to reconcile any differences. Once you agree upon a plan to meet both of your needs and desires, consider who you have in your life who could easily and naturally support you.

Work to anticipate what kinds of help you will need from others as you encounter changes in your health, changes in your ability to drive and changes in the way you process sensory information, vision, hearing, taste, balance, etc. Thinking about how your skills and abilities may change over time, will help you indentify those people and organizations who can be natural supports for you as you age.

Finally, prepare your children or other family members by discussing your goals and dreams for aging in place. You should share your vision of how you’d like your life to “look” as you “age in place.” Include the supports you have identified to help make it happen and the role you would like for family members to play in the process.

Remember, this is a discussion, not a mandate. Keep in mind that your family members love you and want you to live the life you love, but they also have lives of their own and dreams of their own. Their vision of their roles in your life may or may not line up with their vision of their own lives. So, be open to working, with your family, so everyone accomplishes their goals. The synergy that occurs with this process can be an amazing tool for strengthening family relationships.

Holiday Blues

It is common for seniors to experience the holiday blues. To some it seems inevitable, but there are some things someone can do so they avoid the holiday blues this year.

· Don’t isolate yourself. If you don’t have family nearby, invite friends over.
· Volunteer. There are many organizations that are looking for help this time of year. It’s a great way to help and meet new people.
· Avoid Alcohol. Alcohol has a tendency to intensify the feelings of sadness.
· Create a Budget. It’s very important to have a budget this time of year, and know how much you can spend on gifts. Once you create one, stick to it!
· Share your feelings. Trying to hide your feelings because you are embarrassed or ashamed just makes things worse. Tell a friend or family member. Talking about your feelings to someone might help you work through your holiday blues.
· Write your feelings. If you are a little uncomfortable talking about your feelings write them down. Writing down your feelings is a good way to express how you are feeling. It is important to have some outlet to discuss your feelings, because keeping them bottled up will not help.

Following these guidelines will help ensure a fun and happy holiday season for you.

Help someone by removing your clutter

This time of year is the season for giving. Quite often we want to give so much to help others, but for one reason or another we are unable to. So what do we do?

One good thing to do is to go through some of your stuff at home. Are there clothes your kids have outgrown? Do you have stuff around the house that you don’t use? Then donate it! This is a great alternative to buying something brand new, if that is not a feasible option for you.

Not only are you helping out others by donating much needed items to families, you are also helping yourself.

How you ask. Removing clutter from your home takes a great deal of stress off of someone. Cleaning and going through our closets is something that most people know they should do but just put off.

So make some time in your schedule to go through that clutter you have been putting off. It won’t just take the stress off of yourself, but there are sure to be some great donations in there. Help give someone a very Merry Christmas!